One of my favorite things about having little kids is all the funny things they say. My oldest daughter, Michaela, turned three in August. Here are some of her best quotes from 2014:
During worship team practice, as we were singing, “O Holy Night,” Michaela pulled me down and said, “Why are you guys falling on your knees?”
One night in late October, Michaela was sitting on Grandma Necie’s porch watching the moon and stars. “Let’s get a little closer,” Michaela said, as she walked up the driveway.
One summer day, despite my protests, Michaela insisted on bringing a heavy bag of toy cars to the park. I finally told her she could take them as long as she carried them there and back by herself.
She hefted them all the way there, but as we were leaving, she said, “How about, this time, I carry my bag and you carry me?”
“Boy, you liked your Chinese food,” Mark said to Michaela after lunch one day. “You tore it up!”
“Was that a fake laugh?” Mark tickled her. “Or a real laugh?”
“Why’d you give me your fake laugh?”
“That wasn’t funny.”
Grandma Angie was about to take Michaela to a hobby shop with a Thomas the Train play area, and Michaela said Grandma was going to buy her more trains.
“You can go to the store and play,” I said. “But Grandma doesn’t need to buy you any more trains. How many trains do you already have?”
“Mommy,” Michaela said, lifting her hand. “Just let this happen.”
I used “which” in a sentence one day.
“Don’t say witch,” Michaela said. “Witch is bad.”
I explained that there are two words that sound the same, but I meant the one that means, “Which one?” as in “Which one do you want?”
“Do you understand?” I asked her.
“Uh-huh,” she said. “Some witches are good.”
My husband, Mark, and I had dentist appointments and were taking the girls along.
“I’m going to come in with you at the dentist,” Michaela said. “So you don’t get scared.”
Mark rubbed her shoulder. “Well, sweetie, we’ll have to ask Dr. Sam if you can come back with us.”
“If Dr. Sam says, ‘no,’ don’t be scared, okay?”
At our church retreat in May, Michaela was riding her bike and Mark told her to crash into someone they were about to pass.
“What?” Michaela said. “I can’t do that. We shouldn’t crash into people—it’s not nice.”
“I know, honey,” Mark said. “I was joking.”
“Are you sorry?”
Mark chuckled. “Yeah, sweetie, I’m sorry.”
“Never say that again.”
On New Year’s Day last year, Mark asked Michaela what she wanted from Lucky Dog.
“I want sandwich—no cheese in it. With bread—no milk in it. Forty pounds. No cashews.”
Can you guess what she’s allergic to?
“Are you constipated?” I asked Michaela, as she sat on the potty one day.
“Do you even know what constipated is?”
“No.” She held up her hand. “Now you’re going to tell me what constipated means.”
I explained, and then she said, “Now tell me another joke.”
Sometimes mommies say silly things too. . . .
“Mommy,” Michaela said, after Mark got home from work one day. “Tell Daddy about the show I watched.”
“Oh, yeah,” I said. “Mickey watched a peep show today.”
Mark stared at me. “She what?”
Michaela threw up her hands. “It’s the one with the chicks!”