When Losses Become Legacies

Book Excerpt

On the stage of life, suffering invariably enters, often donning the costume we call loss. Loss of health. Loss of a marriage. Loss of a loved one.

If we let it, suffering ushers us closer to our Savior. In exchange for fleeting pain, this unwanted companion has the power to bestow us with an enduring reward: legacy.

As Paul said in 2 Corinthians 4:17, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.”

In this life or the next, the Lord will restore. “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast” (1 Peter 5:10).

The suffering and the restoration both have their places in our stories. After all, Jesus, in whose footsteps we seek to follow, endured the cross “for the joy set before him” (Hebrews 12:2).

In Good Company

God the Son knew suffering, perhaps better than any of us ever will. Slander. Betrayal. Flogging. Crucifixion.

Before that, he knew the grief of losing a loved one, just as we inevitably do. When his friend Lazarus died, Jesus lamented, even as he knew they would soon be reunited. Whether our separation from our loved ones ends quickly or tarries, grieving is good. But, as believers, we have this hope: Our grieving will one day end in joyful reunion.

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do no grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. (1 Thess. 4:13)

We also know this hope: No matter what kind of suffering we may endure, the Lord will never leave us. “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze” (Isaiah 43:2).

In our suffering, we are surrounded by the saints, those still here and those who have gone before. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us” (Hebrews 12:1).

The stories of some of these saints are in this anthology. The real-life characters both entertain and inspire:
• a miniature donkey and his eccentric owner who could star in a children’s picture book;
• a middle-aged divorcee who answers God’s call to China and becomes a famous teacher; and
• a missions-minded contractor who encounters God before his surgery and is miraculously healed.

Miracles and Mysteries

You’ll see that God still performs miracles. Sometimes it’s a complete physical healing. Sometimes it’s a vision of God or heaven. Sometimes it’s a smaller miracle of a few more days.

Often, for whatever reason, he doesn’t. A young woman dies, leaving behind a husband and two small children. A beloved friend, parent, or grandparent passes away before you’re ready. At fifteen, you lose your mom to breast cancer; at thirty-nine, you lose your brother to suicide.

That fifteen-year-old, now forty-seven, is my friend and co-author, Kristina Cowan. We first met in Chicagoland in April 2011. At the time, we were both pregnant; I with my first child and she with her second. I was an aspiring writer penning my first novel. She was a seasoned journalist writing her first nonfiction book.

Along with other writers, we gathered at a Panera Bread for the inaugural meeting of a critique group. With the aroma of baked goods in the air, we founded a new chapter of Word Weavers International. Kristina was the president. I was a newbie.

Fast-forward four months. Our daughters—though due two weeks apart—were born on the same day.

The Birth of This Book

Four years later, our family moved to Maryland. Unbeknownst to me, I contracted Lyme disease. That year, my novel—which Kristina helped edit—was released. Library Journal named Snow Out of Season the Christian Fiction Debut of the Month. Soon, it topped Amazon bestseller lists in two categories.

The next year, Kristina’s book—When Postpartum Packs a Punch—hit the shelves with praise from Publishers Weekly. She continued to freelance while she wrote the book, her work gracing publications like Ladders, The Huffington Post, and Chicago’s Daily Herald.

In 2018, after being out of touch for a while, Kristina emailed me. She was brainstorming her first novel and wondered if I’d like to meet over the phone once a month. Meanwhile, I was outlining my first nonfiction book, a biography about my battle with Lyme. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect.

As we helped each other with our longer works, we realized we also had shorter pieces we felt compelled to share. Kristina suggested we team up to write an anthology of narrative nonfiction. So began the book you’re holding in your hands or reading on a tablet.

Love, Loss, and Legacy

Losing her mom as a child, her dad more recently, and her brother to suicide, Kristina Cowan is no stranger to grief. As a pastor’s wife, former missionary, and one-time seminary student, I’m no stranger to God and his glory. Together we wrote these memoirs on grief, God, and glory.

This book is not an abstract theological treatise on the causes and purpose of suffering. Neither is it a psychology-based guide to grief or a compilation of fictional tales. Rather, it’s a collection of true stories, creatively told, about love, loss, and legacy.

Mother loss is a gate through which almost all of us will pass. The younger the mother is when she dies, the more traumatic the experience. Our first two stories tackle this rite of passage. One is told from the perspective of a child, now grown. The other, from the perspective of a young mother. Join us on these and seven other journeys. The cloud of witnesses is cheering you on.